The Catch 22 of Women Working Outside the Home

The Catch 22 of Women Working Outside the Home

sad working Black ladySo my landlord shared with me a bit about herself. She’s divorced. This is the big manager of several properties. She said she just grew apart. Her work became more important than her marriage. She said she is really happy with her work.

The entire time she was talking about her marriage and work, I got a feeling of tremendous sadness. So, regardless of what she was saying, the reality of what was coming off of her, like a giant tidal wave of emotion, was that she was not happy.

I think women today are in a catch 22. They don’t trust that the person they marry will be there, because the news and movies tell them that men will divorce you, although all proof points to women, being the overwhelming  majority of filers for divorce. So they throw themselves into their work, to FALL BACK ON. Then, this becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You’re afraid of being left alone without money. So you work, so you don’t end up broke. And, the work causes your marriage to fall apart.

What’s worse is, the overwhelming majority of cheaters are women. I don’t think this is a coincidence either. The more you grow away from your husband, the more likely it is, that you’re open to meeting and doing something regretful.

Who wins in this? Employers.

Of course they say, the best and most important thing in a marriage is communication. If the two of you sit down you can hash out, do you want a family; who’s going to be the main caregiver of the children; who’s going to be the provider of funds; will the wife work at all; what will her funds go to. A lot of times, the wife working costs a couple more, after having children, than what the job brings in, after considering daycare and everything involved in that. Some women calculate they can only get ahead, by working, when children are in their pre-teen and teen years. When you can seriously leave your children alone in the home, and not pay for supervision, this is the time a wife and mother can work outside the home.

But, for a young couple, without children, the wife working, has become a live wire. More women find themselves depressed by working, than not. More women find marital problems, than not. More women are starting to feel resentful, than not. Resentful of whom, you might ask? The feminist propaganda that women SHOULD work. Other than some disrespectful bad apples, women had a great thing going, being married and staying home. They did not have to work. In fact, if the couple put forth their focus and energy to making sure the husband made more and more money, they could have quite a nice life together. There are still plenty of housewives today, but nowhere near what it was 50 years ago. While feminism talked about a lot of things, women are slowly waking up to the fact that they’ve been handed a worse situation than they were in, bad marriages, unhappiness, frustration and even worse, opening themselves up to abuse on the job.

It is one thing to say that today you can sue someone for sexual harassment, easily, today. But, what about the notion that you shouldn’t be subjected to it in the first place. People now reject the notion that a woman is safer at home, but all data, studies and statistics point to it. A housewife isn’t subjected to sexual harassment. In fact, a whole host of, just, awful experiences are completely avoided by the housewife. Women are finding that this whole, independence kick, might not be all that great if , in the end, you die as early as a man, due to the same stressors that he faces.

Imagine the jealousy when a working wife speaks to a housewife. The working wife complains about her job, her experiences, he hectic schedule. The housewife cannot share in any of those complaints. And, that’s where the rubber meets the road.

My landlord has to deal with keeping good staff at each property; angry tenants; going to court; rolling up her sleeves and pitching in with hard work, when needed. She told me, her husband is even older and much richer. She didn’t even need the job. She looked up and her marriage was over. And, she admitted, it was nothing he had done. He came to her and asked what had happened.

I feel for her. But, now she’s alone, middle-aged and used to being by herself. And, I bet it’s killing her.

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shakaama

Ex law school student. I was kicked out for revealing I had a heart actually beating inside. I used to be in a modern dance company. I'm working on my 7 miracles to be proclaimed a saint by the pope. #1 is really hard, but once i get over that hump the other 6 will be a cinch.

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