I Want to Be a Normal American
Some days I sit and just look at all the horrible things that go on right in front of my face and I think, “how could noone see this?” But, I think I am the only one that is awake. I think I am the only one that can see the strings being pulled. I think I am the only one that sees the man behind the curtain, pulling the levers and working the pipes and pushing the peddles. I think I am the only man in America that doesn’t think putting business before government is not, business as usual. I don’t think anyone that is awake or cognizant of what is going on, could tolerate this insanity. Then, in the still quiet of the morning, when I am feeling my lowest, and world is quiet and the sun is thinking about peeking over the horizon for a new day, that’s when I think I should just be an American, a normal American.
Some times, though, I’d like to just … give up this brain I have sitting inside my skull and just be mindless like the rest of these … Americans:
- I’d give up this brain and not have a care in the world, just as dumb as a box of hammers, silly as a slaughtered cow, and just as stupid a mule butting my head up against a tree, because I think it’s in the way
- I’d give up this brain and not have a concern about money, just as broke as I don’t know what, giving my paycheck over to the government or the retail store just as fast as I could cash it, paying a fee to even get it cashed
- I’d give up this brain and go buy overly expensive clothes to impress my clique, my friends, who can’t afford the clothes they’re in too, because that’s what cool people wear, and we don’t know they can afford it
- I’d give up this brain and sign up for 20 credit cards and never pay them back, never being able to buy a house or a car ever in my life, and if I ever got married, the day I signed the “I do” papers, would be the day her credit would plummet just for being married to me
- I’d give up this brain and go take every drug I could get my hands on, because that’s what cool people do and if you talk bad about drugs, then you’re automatically not cool, but if you do drugs and talk about doing drugs, you automatically are cool, because because because yeah, I’m too stupid to make up my own mind and look around seeing how drugs ruin people left and right and kill them left and right
- I’d give up this brain and have mad sex partners of all kinds, shapes, sizes and genders, because being bisexual is cool and hip and groovy baby, because that’s what the cool kids say, who cares if it feels completely unnatural and hurts and you wind up bleeding, being cool and American is what it’s all about right?
- I’d give up this brain and walk into McDonalds and eat their roach infested chemcial burgers and not care that I’m suddenly addicted to a salt I can’t even pronounce and a fake sugar I couldn’t understand even with a chemistry degree, and who cares that I go from a size 28″ waist to a 45″ waist in 6 damn months, cuz that’s what all the cool Americans do right?
- I’d give up this brain and go get the stupid flu vaccine every damn August, because that’s what the damn t.v. that I love to watch, and believe everything that comes out of it says, because everyone that is someone has to take the flu shot every damn August and ignore those stories about autism, Guillain-Barré, and people being paralyzed for the rest of their life, besides, I gotta be at the water cooler and complain how much the shot hurt at the water cooler in the office, at the job I don’t have, cuz that’s what cool Americans do.
That’s the life eh?
And, you ask what would be the point of that? You ask what would that accomplish?
I’d be happy. I wouldn’t write political blogs and have people curse me out. I wouldn’t have my audience at one of my online t.v. shows, that is also political, call me at 3a.m. and curse me out. I wouldn’t have my facebook friends curse me out in public about how she hates my political links, because people on the internet want to hear jokes, not the news. I’d have lots of druggy friends. I have all sorts of disease infested sex, instead of no sex. I think I’d be really happy in my ignorance. I think I would be really popular. I think I’d be dead within 5 years.