Real Estate Investing: The Drunk Letter

The Drunken Letter

As a real estate investor 90% of your business is marketing. Marketing! Marketing! Marketing! It is the lifeblood of your business and you cannot have a business without it. As such, real estate investors seek the best return vs the least expensive way to market their investments or get more properties.

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The various marketing tools were and still are:

• cold calling
• direct mail
• door knocking
• signs

While no real estate investor would not do all of these, some of these are more successful than others.

Cold Calling

Anyone with a phone and some very thick skin can sit and cold call an entire zip-code over the course of a year or so to see if anyone in that area wants to sell or buy a house.  With telemarketers now flooding nearly all industries, it has made cold-calling obselete. Yes, telemarketers have ruined everyone’s “fun” in cold-calling. No more friendly reminders from the corner deli about half priced roast beef Sundays. No more life insurance agents calling to offer you a free toaster for just having a meet and greet with them.

Cold-calling is dead and buried. No real estate investor, worth his salt, would cold-call.

Door Knocking

As if cold-calling weren’t bad enough, actually physically going door-to-door is over and done with. No matter how good looking, smooth or charismatic you are, door-to-door is a complete waste of time. Why? The largest reason is that the feminists have won and no one is at home anymore to give you a cool drink of water or a hot mug of cocoa while you admire their needlepoint and how cozy they’ve made their home.

Signs

Although some people may hate them, signs do work. You might get the occasional busy-body that calls the number on your sign to complain how terrible it is you put up a sign to buy that vacant house that bums are squatting in doing drugs, meanwhile ignoring the political signs that are there an entire year after the voting is over, they do work. Strategic placement of signs work miracles.

The only drawback is retrieving them to not anger the gods of the bureaucracy, that seem to not notice the very trash blowing into your sign, to call you to take yours down for fear of “littering” your “fair” city.

Direct Mail

500 Invitation Envelopes for Your Drunk Letters

There are basically two types of direct mail. Yes there are more, but why bother beating your head against a wall. There is the very inexpensive postcard and the awe-inspiring yellow letter.

The postcard is not new and it’s response rate is a reasonable 3%-4%. You won’t get a huge response, but at 15 cents per card, sending out 5,000 cards should keep you in stitches for at least a week.

Ah, but the granddad of all granddads is the yellow letter. It has an amazing, jaw dropping 35%-40% response rate. Go ahead, read that number again. 

But wait…

We’re not here to even talk about the yellow letter. We are here to talk about the Drunk Letter

Drunk Letter

The drunk letter is a take on the yellow letter that renders its 30%-40% child’splay. First of all, you’re going to need the proper yellow legal notepad paper.  It has to be 20 pound paper. [buy the paper in the image and it ships for free as-is, without any more orders, however you should get at least 5,000 sheets since yellow letters should be the lifeblood of your business anyway] 

Of course you’re going to print out this letter yourself. The 20 pound paper goes through the inkjet perfectly with no snaffoos.

Now the drunk letter is the new and improved version of the yellow letter.  It is an improvement that is equal to the set of 3 improvements on the yellow letter:

• Drunk Letter
• Bulk Letter
• Dollar Letter

The bulk and dollar letter are almost the same and you can guess how to do them, but the drunk letter is the crazy marketing scheme that really floors people.

For Blacks: Be Your Own Boss

Starting Your Own Business

( Pictured below are all African Kings, most are very much alive. Wonder why you don’t see them in the news? )

You will never get ahead being the employee of someone else.  Well, unless that is of course you work directly for Bill Gates or some situation like that.  However, I am fairly positive, noone who works for Bill Gates reads Shakaama Live.  I could be wrong, but being a perfect being, I know I am not wrong.  It stands to repeat in another way, en employee is someone that a person hires so that they do not have to work as hard to make THEIR money.  Let’s put it another way.  You are making someone else wealthy by getting hired on to do a “job”.  Understanding the dynamics of what a job is, is the beginning of understanding how the rich get richer.  Once you understand it, then you can turn around and do it yourself.

What is Trade?

The entire concept of the market place is based upon trade.  It is a simple concept, really.  I make cakes and you buy them from me.  You make shoes and I buy them from you.  It used to be that everyone used precious metals to trade with, once we did away with the bartering system.  But, gold and silver are in short supply in the world and the big greedy bankers came up with a fake money system [but that’s a story for another time]  Long, corruption, story short, we now deal in currency and not precious metals.  So you give me money for my cakes and I give you money for your shoes.  We all come out fairly equal.

See what happun was…

Someone got the bright idea that instead of them physically standing there selling cakes, they could hire some lackey to stand there for them.  Then they went a step further.  They came up with the bright idea that instead of them baking the cake AND standing there selling them, they could hire one person to bake the cakes, and another person to sell the cakes.

Well with all this free time, they could then go open up a pie shop.  After the success of the cake shop, the pie shop was a breeze.  They didn’t have to make a whole bunch of money off of each cake, because now they could buy all the ingredients from someone else and have their employees make them money.

Along came a thing called a revolution.  After the dust was settled and people didn’t want to listen to kings and queens any more they wanted to own their own land.  See, before they didn’t own their own land.  The duke or lord owned all the land.  Yeah so after that was over, people were supposed to own their own land.  Well, as luck would have it, the dukes and lords didn’t take kindly to that and thought that perhaps they could just keep the land and charge people rent or sell them land.  People went for it, for some reason.  I don’t know why.  I mean they did fight a revolution to get from under the very people they now agreed to give their money to.  Thus the landlord was born.  Instead of him being a duke or lord, he was now called a landlord.

The landlord gig is quite an impressive way to make money.  You basically have nearly nothing to do but collect money.  It’s a fantastic way to sit back and make money.  I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do it.

Not to be outdone, the banks [yeah the corrupt ones] did not want to be put out of the game.  So they plotted to be the middle man between the landlord and the tenant / buyer.  They got the bright idea that they could ask the landlords to jack up land prices and then offer credit to the tenant / buyer.  The landlords, of course, loved the idea.  So they tripled land prices overnight and banks then advertised that they would offer credit to … wealthy people.

Wait!  What?

Yeah, credit wasn’t such a big hit for EVERYONE.  I mean, who in their right mind would lend money to a poor person.  It just doesn’t make sense right?  So they gave credit out to all the wealthy people.  The whole idea of jacking up the price of land sort of backfired.  You see what they had wanted to do was get in between all the landlords and the buyers.  But, poor people were never offered credit like rich people.  Poor people still bought their land directly from the landowner.  For a couple of centuries then, poor people were immune from banks.  Banks didn’t give credit to poor people and poor people were not at the mercy of horrible stories of banks coming for poor people.

See wha happun was…

Someone got the bright idea of giving poor people credit.  Why? Because poor people do not understand credit.  Credit, as it goes, is a fairly new concept anyway.  And, poor people were never historically given credit.  So, if you offer credit to a poor person, you can explain it however you want him to understand it.  The basics of the idea is that money is lent to a person just for having a good reputation.  That money lent is done so at interest.  The payback is the money lent plus the interest.  Well, there are a million ways to go about those 3 steps.

What’s ridiculous is, being a landlord does not require a bank.  Yet, people think that it is the only way to be a landlord these days.  The old way of buying land directly from a landlord never “went away”.  You simply have to remember that banks wanted to be included inside of that “trade”.

His Majesty Otumfuo Osei Tutu II, king of the Asante people of Ghana

Now, what’s a real tragedy is that landlords offered to rent properties to people.  So everyone fought in these revolutions to not be under dukes and lords and yet they turned right around and started renting the very land they fought for.  Selling off parcels of land is not such a bad idea.  You fight the revolution, and the land has to be distributed somehow right?  Buying it from the duke or lord is as good a system as any to distribute that land.  Renting land is just … well it’s just stupid really.

Let’s fast forward to 2008 in the U.S..  Prices of homes fall to such a degree that people are going crazy.  But, wait, this is what the home values SHOULD have been.  So now you can buy a home directly from a landowner for about $500.00 / month.  Yeah the landowner carries the note and you PURCHASE the land, like everyone used to do.

Now, if you’re smart, you’ll buy a few homes yourself and rent out to people more stupid than you.

So, we got you hiring folks for a pie shop; hiring folk for a cake shop; and renting to idiots that don’t know they can buy land from people directly.  If you’re working for someone else, you are trading your time and energy for a fraction of the money you could be making.

Going to college and business school is simply making yourself a bigger target for getting a job to make someone else richer.  I am not advocating not getting an education, but I AM advocating not wasting your or your parents hard earned money and 4 years of your life JUST to make someone else richer for the rest of your life.  If you’re going to spend money on college, it should be to get a business degree on how to START your own business.  It is time out for Black people to tell their OWN children to go to college to get a degree to get A JOB!!!  No other race tells their children this.  None.  Only Black people say this to their children.  It is a shame and a tragedy.

Think for one second.  You tell your kid to pay for college and then spend time there just so he can get a damn job working for someone else, for the rest of their life.  Are you really that stupid?  That is not how to GET AHEAD.  You want your children to get ahead of you don’t you?  If you don’t you shouldn’t be a parent.  You should shoot yourself in the head before you have kids and bring the rest of us down.

I’m just sayin *laugh*  [ I do not condone suicide ]

This is how you can be your own boss.

Any questions?

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