For Blacks: Girl You Know You Ugly, Quit Playing

Girl You Know You Ugly, Quit Playing

So, I was watching youtube videos about natural hair. Then I got into the section where all these Black women made video about how their man was being rude to them and saying it was their natural hair. Mind you now, the dude didn’t say anything about natural hair, exactly.

For example: they’ll say the dude said, “get some braids”, “get some tracks”, “get a weave”. Ok that might sound like the guy is talking about the hair, but he’s not. What he is trying to say, but can’t just come out and say it

“Girl you are huge as a house and you look like a man. Get on a treadmill and put some makeup on. And you need to quit making videos cracking my damn computer screen with that man face.”

I mean really. They need to quit playing. She know she looks like someone stuffed a black cabbage patch doll full of butter. And, another thing

“No man is going to date a “woman” with hair shorter than his. Who is the damn man in the relationship?”

Then she gets all hurt that he doesn’t like her fade. I mean really? Unless you’re drop dead gorgeous, and I’m not talking about these idiot women who weigh 350lb pretending someone likes that, I mean gorgeous. You cannot pull off the G.I. Jane look.

Look, you need to stop kidding yourself. Why are you 18 and weigh 400lbs? At 18 your metabolism is supposed to be through the roof.

Push away from the damn high fructose corn syrup. Stop drinking soda like it’s water, IT’S NOT. Eat a carrot once in a damn while. There is no excuse these days not to eat like a regular sane adult.

And, the man that would be attracted to you at 350lbs, is not there to improve your self-esteem. TRUST ME ON THAT ONE!

If he sees you, and you’re 350lbs, and he approaches, he’s got one thing on his mind, and it’s not your sexiness. He’s thinking, “here’s a heifer, I can crap all over her and she’ll NEVER leave me.”

Am I lying?

Let’s go back to the videos. Look how the boyfriend is talking to the girl. He’s telling her, she has NOTHING else going for her, she might as well get fake hair for him to look at SOMETHING nice.


You have one life. This isn’t about how a man treats you or mistreats you. There is no way in hell you should be walking around weighing 400lbs and you’re 18. Do you even care about your life? Damn a man. We’re talking about your life, your well being. How long do you think you’ll live at 400lbs?

Do you want to live long enough to see kids?

And, let’s address the fake hair issue. When you wear the fake hair, you get ALL DRESSED UP, cuz you got your hair on now. But, when you get your natural, you wear t-shirts and sweat pants.

Don’t lie and say you don’t.

The mindset is, the fake white-people hair means you’re sexy, but the natural Black-people’s hair is not. You just read yourself. I see so many Black women walk around with their natural hair looking like a rats nest. But, when they got somewhere to go and they press or perm or weave their hair, here they come looking like they just stepped out of Black Vogue.

Now why is that?

It’s because they think, in their heart, that there is NO such thing as Black beauty. They get the natural hair and think to themselves, “I’m wearing natural hair because I don’t have to take care of it.”  So, if they don’t have to take care of it, they don’t have to take care of themselves either, walking around with no moisturizer on their skin, looking like a bag-lady.

It’s an insult to Black women all over. And, it should be an insult to yourself.

Finally, work on your femininity. How is it, the gay boys can step out in a tank top and jeans and look more like a lady without even make-up on than you? Don’t get me wrong, I am not complimenting the homosexuals. I’m saying, some of you look like a 5 o’clock shadow should be growing on your chin. You look rough around the edges. And, when your man tries to say “something” to you, you don’t get the “hint” and blame it on him.

You should practice being a pure princess for an hour a day. Go dress up, put make-up on, the whole nine yards, and act like a damn girly girl princess. Practice makes perfect.

You’re crying your man is being mean to you? He’s dropping hints, he thinks your’e turning him gay, cuz you look and act like a man.

And, some of you swear you’re “all woman”. You’re lying to yourself. You act like Peter Griffin on “Family Guy”.

If you don’t have breasts, go buy a push-up bra. If you don’t have a waste, get on the treadmill. If you look like a Black shamu, stop drinking soda like it’s going out of style.

Remember, I’m here for you if you need diet tips or fashion tips or some psycho-analysis. But, if you’re going to continue lying to yourself, I’m here to slap you around a couple of times so you can wake up.

Please visit my legal website: Las Vegas DUI Lawyer
See me on YouTube: Seattle Cop Punches Black Teenage Girl

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Ex law school student. I was kicked out for revealing I had a heart actually beating inside. I used to be in a modern dance company. I'm working on my 7 miracles to be proclaimed a saint by the pope. #1 is really hard, but once i get over that hump the other 6 will be a cinch.

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